Game review: Rage

Rage seems like a Borderlands rip-off but with no appeal to it nor a consistent and interesting storyline.


Joseph Dennis


Bethesda Softworks


Bethesda Softworks is well known for video games such as Fallout 3, Fallout: New Vegas and even the much anticipated Elder Scroll: Skyrim. Although these games are great, Bethesda does have games that show how it should stick to actual first-person role playing and not games that stray off from that formula.

Rage seems like a Borderlands rip-off but with no appeal to it nor a consistent and interesting storyline.

What I mean by that is if players are good at ignoring a plot that catches their attention and degrades their intelligence, well, good for them. Hope they enjoy this game.

This years first-person shooter games sure seem to follow the same trend. They start with a sign sticking out their butt reading, “Hey, human existence is in the toilet. Do something about it. Also get ready for a huge letdown at the end.”

In Rage, the main character awakens from his cryo-pod to discover earth meteor stricken and ventures on his way through the toilet of a wasteland.

Now for the good first chunk of the story it seems to set up this sort of “players surviving a strange new Earth filled with survivors, evil clans and mutants” vibe, but then pulls a total 180 and makes this story have a main villain.

The villain, General Cross, is never there to truly show how much of a threat he is. Really the only evil thing he seems to do is follow the clichéd goal of—brace yourself—taking over the world.

Players join this sort of resistance. The only two characters who actually seemed to put forth an effort and actually catch my attention were JK Stiles and Dan Hagar. JK Stiles, the producer of the Mutant Bash TV in the game, seems like a mix between Krew from Jak II and the voice of Miles from “The Men’s Room” on 99.9 KISW, whose TV studio looks like the hideout of the Joker.

Unfortunately, he’s only around for the first part of the game before players need to go on to complete other missions, which is sad considering how developers could’ve done a lot more with his character.

The story suddenly brings in a main villain, who runs a military police force that looks like the rejected storm troopers even George Lucas wouldn’t even put in those horrible Star Wars prequels.

This group of forgotten cherry colored RoboCops is known as the Authority. Their main goal seems to be rounding up Ark survivors, capturing them and most likely killing them.

My only response after discovering this was, “Wow, how generic and unoriginal.”

Since the majority of the game requires players to do errands for both random people and “The Resistance,” I felt that skipping to the ending would be appropriate; mainly to avoid me breaking my laptop with my face in order to continue this review.

For the grand finale, which I’m now going to spoil, players need to infiltrate the Authorities’ base called Capital Prime, fight through it, reach the control room, and fight off creatures.

My brain has never hurt this badly after playing through a campaign. It made me yell and shake my television, demanding answers.

Resistance 3’s story line was actually something well structured compared to Rage, and that’s saying a lot considering how bland and generic it was.

This overblown pile of feces was just plain confusing and overall an insult to anyone’s intelligence. I actually forgot how an actual story worked for a few seconds before I yelled, “What the heck was the main characters name? Who is he? What is so special about him? Why? Answers. I want answers now.”

If anything, stick with playing the mini games and racing challenges. Honestly, they are 10 times better than anything else in the game.

Though one part I did actually like in the game is when two bars have “Five Finger Fillet” and a sort of Magic the Gathering card game almost two tables apart from each other.

I also enjoyed completing the games so I could return it and rent something much better.

Now usually the saving grace is the guns in these types of games, but sadly they don’t even make up for the terrible campaign.

Players only have access to seven weapons in the game. What a rip-off coming from Bethesda Softworks where as for example, Fallout 3, players were able to carry many more weapons that were actually useful; the term “human armory” is something it should stick with when developing its games.

Sure, the graphics are detailed, astounding and well designed, but that’s like releasing the scenery from Lord of the Rings and cutting out the entire story and characters.

If you are going to buy or rent this game, then try to follow this simple method. Rent it, play it, return it and forget it, because you could be doing much better things with your time.


I think it deserves 2 stars.

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Game review: Rage

by Contributing Writer time to read: 3 min