and Mackenzie Hendricks
While newspapers can easily be recycled, there are more creative and greener ways to dispose of yesterday’s news.
The following are 25 ways to embrace your inner tree hugger or use a newspaper after reading it:
1. Oddly enough, you can leave a stylish print on your fingernails by using newspaper; however it is questionable why you would do such a thing. First paint your nails with a base coat, the follow with a light gray polish. After your nails have dried take a small amount of rubbing alcohol and dip the nail into it for about five seconds. Press the nail onto a small piece of newspaper for 15 seconds, after this amount of time take the newspaper off. With a large amount of hope, and an even larger possibility of failure, the newspaper text will transfer onto the nail. Paint this over with a clear top coat and you should end up with a work intensive and most likely disappointing result.
2. Ward off boredom by counting how many times you can write your name out of the letters used. Note: this does not require reading, simply the skimming of articles.
3. Kidnap a psychopath’s dog and use the newspaper to write the ransom note. Newspaper can also serve a double use in this circumstance. Not by lining the bottom of the kidnapped dog’s cage with newspaper, but by making a paper mâché dog decoy in case your plan goes south.
4. Create a coffee holder out of newspaper.
5. The sun is bad for your health; cover your windows with newspaper. Or if you are living in a condemned house and/or a fugitive from the law this will work just as well.
6. You can use newspaper as kindling to start a fire. By no means is this intended to aid you in setting fires wherever you would like. This is a warning; arson is illegal and considered a public offense. Arson is punishable in a court of law and may result in fines of institutionalization in state or national penitentiaries. If you feel like you may commit an act of arson, contact campus security at (253) 840-8481, or emergency services by dialing 911.
7. If you have a paper from a notable date in history, like the election of President Barack Obama, put it on eBay. You may be surprised at the money you can make for another paper with old news on it. You’ll get the highest bid when you list the paper while there’s still demand for it, but don’t discount its popularity many years down the road. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Hasn’t Hoarders taught you anything?
8. While recycling old newspapers may be a green, there is a way to get them filthy black and be even more environmentally friendly. Use old newspapers to clean up oil spills, after all those BP covered seagulls can’t clean themselves.
9. Whether or not you are an environmentally friendly, economically strapped or just plain crazy person you can make a bowtie or hairpiece out of newspaper. To do this you will need newspaper, super glue, scissors, hair clips, absolutely nothing else to do and a large amount of patience. First take the newspaper and cut a 4 inch x 2 inch piece. Grab the rest of the paper from the middle and scrunch it until it males a bow-like shape. Now wrap the 4 inch x 2 inch piece of paper around the contorted middle and Super glue the end tightly. Pin the hair clip onto the back of the bow and clip it where ever you desire.
10. Please note, public consumption of alcoholic beverages in public facilities is a public offense. The legal drinking age in the U.S. is 21 and those under this age shouldn’t consume alcoholic beverages. If one has the need to publically consume alcohol please do so after wrapping such liquid in newspaper.
11. The joy of newspapers is that they are highly decomposable, especially in
dirty areas that are watered regularly. Because of this you can make plant pot holders out of old newspapers. Lay the newspaper down and split it in half, then split one of the haves in half. Angle the papers together so that one half is in half. Fold a crease at the very bottom and top of the rectangle. Then wrap the paper around a can and tape the edges. Fold the edges of the paper at the bottom of the can until it is tight. Tape it securely and the slide the can off and fold the top crease inwards and tape it.
Now you have a newspaper plant holder, and can celebrate this success by putting your precious work in the cold ground.
12. Create a comic book autobiography by documenting your life through the cartoons characters.
13. Make a ball gown out of newspaper. While it may sound silly, the results if done the right way can be very stable and quite remarkable. To learn how to make a dress out of old newspaper visit www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Paper-Dress, for a step by step process of how to do so.
14. Although mainly black and white print, one shouldn’t underestimate the beauty of newspapers. Old newspapers can make a beautiful wreath decoration. For step-by-step instructions to make a wreath, visit www.ehow.com/how_
15. Use newspaper to wrap gifts. If you have no need to impress the receiver, newspaper can be both inexpensive and plentiful for wrapping presents.
16. Instead of using paper towels or cloths, which can be costly, newspapers are just as good if not better at cleaning windows. In fact, with some Windex and a page of newspaper, streaks will be a thing of the past. Goodbye The New York Times, hello clean windows.
17. Origami is always a creative way to past the time. Stay occupied by trying your hand at forming newspaper cranes and other paper animals, but don’t attempt if you have notoriously strong arms. Newspaper rips much easier than store-bought paper.
18: Are your shoes looking disfigured? Help keep your shoes in good form by stuffing them with newspaper and perhaps see a doctor about those feet of yours.
19: Do you have an approaching celebration? Save money but spend a great deal of time making a pinata out of newspaper. See http://craftingagreenworld.com
natural-glue/2/ for additional instructions.
20. Use the newspaper to wrap delicate objects when being stored. Especially for moving to another location, newspaper is a great way to protect valuables.
21: If you have a room full of people and absolutely no social skills, have a paper boat competition to lessen the tension. For those ignorant in the art of paper boat making, visit www.wikihow.com
22. For those fruit fanatics that cannot wait a few days for a ripe banana, newspapers can solve that problem as well. Wrap any fruit or vegetable in a newspaper and it will help the item ripen faster.
23. Many animals go through toys faster than you can blink. To cut down on those costs, you can wrap a newspaper into a ball and give it to your pet. Sure, it may not be the best or cutest toy, but it certainly is more affordable.
24. Prevent weed growth by placing a layer of newspaper down first before you build up your soil. This will help prevent weeds from pushing through the soil that you placed on top of it.
25. With Easter approaching, try using scraps of newspaper instead of artificial grass at the bottom of the Easter basket. Perhaps it’s time for the Easter Bunny to go green as well.
The Puyallup Post is the award-winning news media of Pierce College Puyallup in Puyallup, Washington. Copyright The Puyallup Post 2018. Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Youtube @thepuyalluppost